Weakness

 Weakness? What is weakness? What does it mean to an individual or you?

 My definition of weakness is being vulnerable to your emotions and incapable of accomplishing something you want but it’s okay to have these weaknesses. It allows you to become the better version of yourself and gain experiences next time. 

One of my weaknesses is allowing my overthinking thoughts to become the reality of my goals and losing my motivation to pursue my dreams such as becoming a writer, staying consistent with my workout, etc. This weakness is something I have been working on a lot for a couple of weeks now because I have been thinking a lot about how am I going to become a successful writer in the future, how am I going to accomplish my goals if I am unmotivated or lazy to even try. 

A second weakness I have is being too caring of a person because I would lose sleep over something that would happen to the people important to me. I know being too caring isn’t a weakness, but it’s a double-edged sword because it shows I care a lot about them and shows that I’m very reliant on their interactions. Additionally, a part of me feels lost if I don’t check up on others because it's natural for me to be check in on others. Although, I believe it’s for the best that I dial it down since I’m confident now that they are staying hydrated and eating well. 

Lastly, my biggest weakness is the thought in my mind that I will be forgotten because I wondered if I made a difference in that person's life. This thought leads me to a dark place which makes me emotional and weak because I know that I’m not forgotten and all the stuff I do matters as long as I believe in myself with a positive mindset.

In conclusion, never let your weaknesses define who you are and learn to grow out of them. It may be difficult but slowly but surely progress will be worth it and make you a stronger person. I will learn to not let my weaknesses cloud my mind or thoughts and learn to convey them in a way I know with people by my side.

“Someday your weakness can become your strength”

One Life How do you want to be known/remembered for?

In life, we’re given one life to live how we please with guidance along the way. However, that guidance only helps us at a certain point in life. We’ve to make our own path and choices that we think fit and confident in. Some people would like to be remembered for their kindness and caring personality while others would like to remember for being nice to everyone or their accomplishments. It’s very hard and unpredictable how life works because anything can block us from achieving that goal. Although, there are some individuals in this world that would rather be remembered for their work with friends watching them since doing it alone doesn’t feel that good. Sometimes people in this life are known for the wrong reasons because they were portrayed that way by social media that tainted their image by giving out false information that isn’t accurate.

For me, I am known for my loyalty, kindness, caring personality but I would love to be known for my words because it’s such an extraordinary feeling when people are inspired or being able to relate through a piece of writing that I created. I want to be known by my words because it allows me to know that I’ve impacted them either small or big that makes them feel reassured or good about themselves. It’s a great feeling to be known by close family and friends the most because they will always be there for you and rooting for you. Having close family and friends throughout your journey is truly an honor. They will always be in your life thinking about you no matter where they are in this world.


In conclusion, a piece of advice I would give is don't try so hard to be known because it just adds in a lot of unnecessary stress that pushes you to do things that might end up hurting yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. When you go through life stay humble with your actions and be purely genuine about it because you will go far and succeed if you do things for a good reason. I would also say never forget where you came from and where it all started when you start getting recognized or known for your achievements.

World

A feeling that you wish will go away

Like a leaf falling to get ready for the winter

yet this feeling is ice cold that will never be melted

Until a light is shine upon the ice.

A place that is surrounded by mist

With an endless amount of conflict

that makes us not want to exist.

Each moment that passes by

Has been filled with nothing but pain

That feels like an endless sorrow

As no light or hope has shine in this eternal darkness

With a world that is dark

there is always a light

If you look deep in your heart.

Lost

                            

Feeling lost so far in my own mind

Which leaves me blind

For my peace of mind is not aligned.



A thought that is continuous constant

That messes up my conscience

Yet a feeling that is exhausted.



A dream that was once shattered

And it felt like nothing even mattered.

which might turn into a pattern

That could lead to a disaster.

Mental Health

I was inspired to write this piece because many people I know are going through a rough time during the months of being in quarantine and feeling lost of not knowing what to do in life anymore which cause them to go into a depressed state or in a path of darkness that will be hard to come out from.

I believe that dealing with mental health is one of the most important issues in this world because not a lot of people will understand what others go through and blindly say stuff that won't be helpful or useful at all. Even though you as a person are trying to help them with their internal battles, it doesn't always work because they have like a wall they built that's very hard to penetrate. Some words may get through but it's not enough, but your effort isn't for nothing because they know you are there for them but they rather deal with their internal battles alone and will reach out to you if they want your guidance or assistance. One thing to learn is don’t put yourself into a situation where you want to help them because they rather go through this battle at their own pace and if you continuously try to help or intervene it will eventually take a toll on you that will leave you restless or stressed out. A second thing to learn is that if you know a friend or anyone who is struggling with their mental health, please check on them and making sure they are okay because they are very good at hiding their emotions and faking it until the very end. It affects their mindset heavily because it shifts their goals in life, interaction with other people, and work environment towards a different direction that causes them to be more aggressive, emotionally, and not being able to think clearly.

Mental health is very important for people to understand and not to joke about because there are many people battling their internal thoughts that are more negative than positive because they’ll think that they’re worthless, there’s no point in life, and nothing is going right for them. All of these thoughts are simultaneously spinning through their mind constantly and it feels like a battle that they will never win because no one understands what they are going through that will leave them in a depressed state for days, months, or even years. It takes a lot of time, healing, confidence, and trust to tell people about their internal battles because they want to tell people that are trustworthy, have the ability to listen and understand what they are trying to say without interfering.

After witnessing and learning many of my friend’s stories about their internal battles, I’m extremely grateful to know their story and what they had to go through to get to the place they are now. I’m grateful that they are continuing to keep going in life while fighting their internal thoughts. I want everyone to know that mental issues never go away because it can be easily triggered by your words and actions so please be aware of what you say to others and think before you say something or don’t say it at all. Also if a person trusts you with their story please keep it to yourself as well and respect their wishes if they don’t want anyone else to know because trust is hard to come by these days.

                                                To my friends and family

•  You’re worth it

• You’re precious

• Keep going

• Never give up

• You’re never alone

• You’re appreciated

But most importantly you matter in this world so don’t feel like you don’t and be proud of what you’ve accomplished in this world. I love you guys and I will always be there for you guys.

Regrets

Regret is a feeling that’s very common to have when you feel anxious about a decision you’re about to make that can either change your life for the better or worse. The outcome of your decision will only be known once you’ve finally made a choice. You often wonder to yourself if that decision was worth making, so it makes you doubtful. This sense of doubt would eventually lead you to make a decision that you might regret. When an individual makes their final decision, they often think to themselves over and over again to know if that decision was the correct one. Once the decision is made, they can move on with their lives without any regrets. In life, everyone has made many decisions that they regretted because they never wanted to take the risk of trying something new therefore would bite them later on. One reason that it’ll bite them later on in life because they would linger in the past about why they didn’t take the risk nor give it a chance so they would let that decision eat them up inside and feeling like life would be better if they made that decision.

The biggest regret anyone can have is with their own words because saying stuff you don’t mean to a close friend, family, or even someone you don’t know can be the most painful. Those spoken words can’t be taken back because the damage of those words isn’t easy to forget. Once those words are spoken, you feel a sense of guilt and regret because deep down inside you didn’t mean the words you said. It’s even harder to come out with an apology because it takes time for a person to be the bigger person to apologize for their actions and it leaves a burden when it’s unresolved. An individual not being able to apologize for their actions and leaving it unresolved can be their downfall and biggest regret because that incident will haunt them forever. It will take time for that individual to move on from that incident because it’s constantly in their minds thinking about what he/she have done better to deescalate the conflict.


In conclusion, there’s nothing wrong with having regrets along the way because life isn’t about being perfect nor making the right or wrong decision since the outcomes are endless. A person once told me that “Living with regrets is better than living in fear” which I agree with this statement because living in fear won’t allow you to move on with your life. It’s better to move on from your past and looking forward to your present and future because what’s ahead of your journey is more important than your regrets in the past. The regrets in the past teach you what to do when you’re in that situation again because learning through your past experiences is important in life.

“Live your life in your own way, there's going to be many faults along the way but hey that's what makes life so much more interesting"

Pain

Everyone in this world goes through their own type of pain that no one can relate to because they have their own way to deal with pain. It’s known that people suffering the most are likely to hide it and focus on other people’s pain rather than their own pain. As they go through their own pain, they hope that one day their pain can finally be at ease with the help of others, unfortunately, it’ll be difficult because not many people are willing to do the same for that individual.

Pain is never avoidable because when you go on social media, there will always be news about something horrific that happens in your city, state, or even across the country. This type of news on social media leaves a person emotionally heartbroken and enraged because there are people who are heartless. Many people go through a lot of suffering when one of their family members passes away because they were the rock of the family and losing a family member is always the hardest. It’s a pain that won’t go away because it’s hard to be somewhere without seeing them; it feels like a place unknown to them.

The most important pain of them all is internal and external because everyone is constantly having a battle between the good and evil inside of their minds. In a quiet environment, people tend to have more negative thoughts because it’s easier to think about bad things than the good things in life. There’s always a clash between your positive and negative thoughts which can cause internal pain and their mental health all over the place. This type of pain can affect mentally because it’ll change how they feel, think, and the way they have interacted with others since their thoughts aren’t fully processed.

In conclusion, check up on your family, friends, or even a random stranger’s health because you may never know what they are going through and one simple checkup can make their day. One simple checkup can show a sign of relief and shows that there are people that care for them. It’s important to be there for them and try to understand their pain that’s flowing through their mind. Even if we don’t understand how they feel or the pain they went through, it’s better to know your presence is fully on them and nothing else. Pain is hard to go through alone, but that pain can be at ease if another individual is looking out for them.

                   Never let your pain break you down but let your pain make you stronger.